Dearest lovely Father,

Yet another day has passed. I thank You so so so much, that You are a God of sustenance. When I was so close to reality today, all I could ever do was to cry out for You. My Father, thank You for being such a great comforter and peace-giver. Your peace oh God, fell like rain amongst, that even though our soul grieves we take comfort in Your everlasting word. This kind of peace oh God, is going to tide us through even the toughest and ugliest times.

Admittedly, I am upset Lord. The fact that she was an elder, a family member who didn't stay with me did not comfort me a slight bit, and I hate it when people think it's not such an important person and we wouldn't react that badly. She formed so much of my childhood memories when she stayed at my place. Maybe, it's because of this plain fact that the emotional attachment was stronger. And when it's time to let go it hurts slightly more.

Did I tell You Father, how ironic and contradictory I think I am?! I thought I would tell the whole world "stay away, yes I know you have your own problems, that's why I'm not expecting you to listen to mine or share mine". But today when I saw many people coming and they didn't have a direct relationship with me, I felt miserable for tens of seconds. And then I realised, Jessie isn't that strong after all. She needs support and encouragement too.

When oh Lord, have I become skeptical about relationships? Have I gradually developed this idea of don't-trouble-people and people-mostly-care-about-themselves,themselves,themselves kind of thought? If so Father, let's work hard to correct the mind set. Because I don't care what the world may say nor throw at me, I only know that Jesus would have treated all with absolute genuineness and truth. Surely, when You created Adam and subsequently Eve, You knew that we need companions and no man can survive alone well. I must learn oh God, to share more and not be afraid to receive. For in all these things we will see the love of God radiating from a person's within.

And thank You, for Your grace thus far. She's fine temporarily too and of course we all hope that it would stay this way. In any case Your children know that this is a time to stay strong and united, for all things happen at an appointed time for a reason. Through it all, we will sing You a hymn of love for Your faithfulness. And I pray my Father, that You will give us strength. For by human ability we are such weaklings, but Your providence will be the greatest testimony we can give to those who see.

Lastly, grant all of us a good night's rest. The road ahead is really going to be tough and heart-wrenching, but Your beautiful word remains. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you".

I could search for all eternity long, and find there is none like You. I could change it - I could search for all eternity long, and find I cannot do without You.